The best spots in New York City for a solo date

Single gal TikTok star Katie Romero offers tips on where to go for a downtown New York City solo date adventure, from spa days in Chinatown to omakase on the Lower East Side.

With a population of over 8 million people, being alone can feel daunting in New York City. But solitude, often mistaken for its sibling, loneliness, can sometimes be the best companion.

No one understands this better than New Yorker Katie Romero, a 33-year-old "single gal" influencer whose videos celebrating her solitude have amassed over 9.5 million likes and over 200,000 followers on TikTok. "There are so many factors as to why this city is such a good place to be on your own and do solo things. The city empowers you to do stuff," Romero said. "It's nice to take that time because you're surrounded by so many people."

One of Romero's favourite things to do on her own in NYC is to take herself on a solo date. What exactly is a solo date? By Romero's definition, a solo date is "any activity that you intentionally do alone".

And what better place than New York City? "We're blessed with all the opportunities to go to art galleries, museums, libraries, amazing restaurants, cafes, classes, workshops that are available to us that make it easier to do things alone," Romero said. "I think that taking the time to be alone allows you to be more curious about yourself." 

So, this Valentine's Day (or anytime, really), consider taking yourself out on a solo date for a change of pace. Here are Katie Romero's five best recommendations for New York City.

With winter in full swing, it's no wonder New Yorkers are seeking hygge — the Danish idea of warmth and refuge. "The concept of a bookstore where you can grab a glass of wine has really been taking off," Romero said, who has featured Bibliotheque, a glamorous yet cosy bookstore in posh SoHo evocative of a French salon with bookshelves for walls and dangling chandeliers, on her TikTok . She also loves Book Club, a classy living room in the bohemian East Village neighbourhood with "a little fireplace and big cosy chairs". Romero, who has been trying to finish a book every month, calls reading "the easiest gateway into meeting somebody new", with novel interactions and easy conversations sparking from whichever page turner is in your hands. 

After Book Club, head to dinner across the street at Virginia's, which has a "great burger and cocktail list," or Spes, also in the East Village, a "hole-in-the-wall that looks like someone's Italian home". The best part of going solo: "Usually, the staff will take extra care of you."

For those seeking to splurge (on themselves) during their solo date, Romero suggests heading to Orchard Street in Manhattan's vibrant Lower East Side neighbourhood. "It's my favourite," Romero said. "You can hit so many different spots."

There's Sora for slow-fashion; Chop Suey Club for contemporary Chinese clothing and design; November 19 for quirky, fun home goods; Coming Soon for colourful décor. Settle in with your shopping bags at Sunday to Sunday, a cafe with "the best window seats for people watching".

If you're feeling an all-in-one stop, visit NYC's sprawling Chinatown and check out Canal Street Market, a large curated market, food hall and community space. "You can be there for a solid two hours," Romero said. "It's all small brands, vintage, thrifted antiques, and an amazing food section so you can go eat after." Slurp the bubble tea from Lazy Sundaes or feast on rice rolls from Joe's Steam Rice Roll to cap off your shopping adventure.

A whole day can be made of people watching in the city that never sleeps.

"The parks are always my favourite [for people watching] during the springs and summers," said Romero. "You will see the weirdest stuff at Tompkins Square Park [in Alphabet City] or Washington Square Park [in Greenwich Village]." 

When asked about the strangest thing she's witnessed, Romero mentioned a "classic Washington Square Park" performance. "There was this one woman doing interpretive dance and painting at the same time – she was just completely covered in paint, dancing on a piece of cardboard dripping paint," Romero said. "I was like, 'Okay, I see the vision.'"  

If you're feeling more of an indoor vibe, go to any restaurant or a cafe with window seats, pop in some headphones and just watch the world go by on your private television screen where the channels surf themselves. "Revelie in SoHo has a really great two-seater window spot," Romero said. The neighbourhood is popular among fashion lovers, so "you'll be getting a lot of fun ers-by and fashion folks where you can see their clothes and stuff."  

Wherever you watch, it's guaranteed entertainment. 

Romero's suggestions for rest and relaxation span an entire range of prices.  

For a sophisticated solo date, Romero likes AIRE Ancient Baths in the chic Tribeca neighbourhood. "I would splurge on that if I wanted to do something nice for myself for Valentine's Day," she said. AIRE Ancient Bath's subterranean spas are inspired by Roman bathing traditions and feature thermal baths, saltwater pools and relaxation rooms.  

Bathhouse in funky Williamsburg, Brooklyn and Chillhouse in SoHo are Romero's picks on the more affordable end of the spectrum. The unassuming brick exterior of Bathhouse belies the dimly lit oasis in the basement with pools and saunas, though its peak hour crowds can be more stressful than zen. By contrast, "[Chillhouse] has a spa, a sauna, an all-in-one encoming spot that I like that's a little more affordable [than AIRE]," said Romero. "The way I approach it is like, I can't just be spending $300 [£240] in a day!"

Like many of her solo date picks, Romero's favourite self-care escape is found in Chinatown. "Fifty dollars [£40] for a 50-minute full-body massage. I walk out like a whole new person." Romero's recommendation is Renew Day Spa, which has two Chinatown outposts. In her post-massage daze, she treats herself to soup dumplings from Shanghai 21, Joe's Shanghai, or Shu Jiao Fu Zhou, where you can get a plate of peanut noodles for under $5 [£4]. "Chinatown is such a vibrant neighbourhood," Romero said. "You really can't go wrong."

The benefits of a solo date compound in the city where getting a reservation at a restaurant can be a game of chance and skill. Long wait times evaporate when you roll up alone; popular spots like Thai Diner just north of Chinatown and Torrisi in SoHo usually have immediate seats available. "[Torrisi] just got a Michelin star this year, so it's always slammed," Romero said. "But I could just walk in for lunch solo and grab a spot at the bar. I would never be able to do that with two people." 

According to Romero, anywhere with a bar is usually a safe bet. "I like going to lobby bars of hotels. The Beekman [in Lower Manhattan] has always been one of my favourites. The environment is just beautiful. Anytime I'm there I feel mysterious."

Romero also takes a page out of Japan's book, where a table of one is more culturally common. 

"I love omakase for being alone," Romero said of the classically intimate sushi bar dining experience, where the chef prepares for the diner a personalised multi-course meal based on seasonal ingredients and their personal whims. 

"I always end up talking to the chef. I can also really have a good time with anyone around me," Romero said.

Her favourite Omakase spot is Matsunori on the Lower East Side which also allows diners to bring their own booze. "You can grab a bottle of wine and treat yourself," Romero suggested. If Matsunori is full, Romero proposed the nearby Taikun. "The chef was cracking me up the whole time," she said. 

Romero's most-asked questions from fans afraid to make the jump to solo dates come from fears of dining alone. Her most valuable pearl of wisdom is derived from the city's anonymity: "No one's really focused on you. Everyone's living their own lives, so who cares if you're sitting at dinner alone? You need to get out of your head and be present and in the moment. Be grateful for this time. It's the best."

BBC Travel's The SpeciaList is a series of guides to popular and emerging destinations around the world, as seen through the eyes of local experts and tastemakers. 

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